The Family Guide to Pilgrimaging

OOO! That’s what pilgrimages with a family are all about Organisation, Organisation and more Organisation! In our case that is one ‘O’ for each of our children.

Planning begins during the winter months with OS maps stretched out across the living room floor. A good set of maps are essential for the independent pilgrimage family, so it is best to discourage young children from walking over them or testing out their new felt pens. Family pilgrimage strategy depends upon whether the route is linear (Buckfast), triangular (Martyrs), curved (St Davids), circular or just wiggly,

Accommodation

It is sometimes possible to follow a whole week of the pilgrimage from a single base camp. We managed that during the second week of the St David’s pilgrimage, but it sometimes meant a long drive out and back at the end of the day. On a linear route it may be convenient to find a base near a pilgrimage overnight stop and stay there for two or three days. One day we backtrack along the route and then the next day have to catch up. We managed this successfully on the Norwich pilgrimage.

It does cost significantly more to stay at youth hostels or B&Bs than sleeping on hail floors, but unfortunately young children do need more sleep than the average pilgrim and have a nasty habit of making unpredictable and untimely noises. Often the only option is to find suitable accommodation close to each overnight stop, so careful scrutiny of route cards, B&B guides, the YHA handbook and OS maps is unavoidable.

Walking

Little legs cannot manage a full day’s walk. The trick is in deciding how much each child can manage at a stretch. In our case, Jonathan (age 3) can cope with about 1 mile, Timmy (age 5) 2 miles and Anne (age 8) can manage 5 miles in a morning and be able to repeat the effort in the afternoon. Looking at our route card, we can match up stages of the pilgrimage with the capabilities of each of our children. The benefits of double parent families now become clear! While one parent and one or more children walk, the other drives on to the next church or landmark. The car can even be left at a prearranged grid reference for picking up by the other parent, but make sure that you have a duplicate set of car keys, route cards and ideally maps.

A complete morning or afternoon can be followed by leapfrogging along the route, without the need for any communication, if your strategy has been well planned in advance. The pilgrimage is certainly not a time for discussing family matters or having profound theological discussions! A similar “leapfrog” method also speeds up the process of route planning earlier in the year. It can be very useful to have a “lame duck” pilgrim in the car, who can keep the children amused with stories or play them tapes along the way.

An alternative “boomerang” strategy is to walk together for a mile or two. Someone then has to go back for the car and can drive on ahead. It may be possible to walk backwards along the route to rejoin the pilgrim band again. You might have wondered about those pilgrims who always seemed to be walking the pilgrimage in the wrong direction!

Drinkstops

Since no-one walks the complete route some drinkstops are inevitably missed. An independent drink supply in the back of the car is a necessity, if a lolly shop is not spotted by the children first.

Pubstops

Not all pubs that welcome pilgrims, welcome children. Sandwiches in the pub garden are usually the best option, especially when the pub has well equipped play area. Why do route planners give the type of beer greater consideration than the availability of swings?

Godstops

Pilgrim families get to know church graveyards well and have plenty of opportunities for reading the inscriptions on tombstones! Warnings of dire consequences, threats of eternal damnation and bribes of sweets to keep quiet in church rarely have much effect on little boys. They are inevitably keen to explore new territory, run up the aisle, comment on the “funny knickers” worn by Jesus on the cross, fiddle with the squeaky pew door or hit each other with an embroidered kneeler.

When the local vicar, describing the beautiful carvings on his 13th century font, has been interrupted yet again or the pilgrim prayers have been interspersed with ‘I want to do a wee wee”, that is the time to go and read some more gravestones.

Grubstops

Little tummies cannot last till 7 or 8 PM and like to be filled at regular intervals, Independent pilgrim families are advised to seek out the “Happy Friery” or “Old MacDonalds” in the locality of the route well in advance of those first hunger pangs. It may mean ending the day’s walk prematurely, but that is better than enduring the ear splitting howls of ravenous children.

Rainstops

Pilgrims know that the sun does not always shine. Children are even less enthusiastic than adults about walking in the rain. It is a good idea to have some contingency plans, in case the heavens open and rain sets in for the day. The opportunity to disassemble the leaflet racks in the tourist information office is one option and the local swimming pools can help to pass a wet afternoon, so don’t forget your swimming togs!

Transport

A reliable car is essential and plenty of space in the boot is recommended for drink, biscuits, wellies, first aid kit, push chair and clean clothing. Long distances may have to be travelled, either backtracking along the route or going on forays to find the lie of the land ahead.

Forever Pilgrims!

A pilgrimage with a family is undoubtedly a different experience. We may not endure a hard floor or attend every Godstop. We may opt out of rainy afternoons or arrive late in the morning. We may be seen driving past while your own legs are aching. We may even disrupt your lunchtime pint or your Godstop prayers, but we remain as much pilgrims as when we first met on the Papal Pilgrimage fourteen years ago!

 Michael and Susan McCabe not to mention Anne, Timmy and Jonathan